Do you ever have trouble describing what you’re feeling? Do some of your friends and family think you can be cold and emotion-less? Do you find yourself feeling nothing when other people expect you to have a strong emotional response? Or maybe, you feel the physical signs of emotion without actually feeling the emotion itself? And perhaps you find yourself relating to characters on TV like Dr. House or Carmy from The Bear — characters who respond to emotional situations with logic.

There’s a chance you could have something called alexithymia, personality trait that is also commonly referred to as “emotional blindness.” Although you’ve probably never heard of the condition, experts believe that roughly 10% of the population has some degree of alexithymia.

So, what is it? How do you know if it’s affecting you or someone you know? And is it something that can be treated? We spoke to founder of UK Therapy Rooms Dr. Daniel Glazer, a clinical psychologist who has a special interest in trauma to find out.

What is alexithymia?

Alexithymia, a term coined in the ’70s, is a personality trait that describes a certain “emotional blindness” when it comes to one’s own emotional landscape. “People who experience it often mistake the bodily surge that accompanies feeling — such as a racing heart or tight stomach — for something purely physical, and their emotional vocabulary stays sparse,” explains Glazer.

It occurs when the emotional signal is blocked, delayed or distorted. “Because the emotional signal reaches conscious awareness late or distorted, the individual leans on logic alone and may report feeling blank even while physiological arousal is obvious to an observer.”

It tends to occur alongside other conditions — frequently, it can accompany post-traumatic stress disorder or autism. “Among trauma survivors, roughly two in five meet criteria for the trait,” he says.

Alexithymia can lead to plenty of day-to-day problems

While in certain moments, all of us might wish we could live without emotion, living with alexithymia is complicated.

For one thing, it can lead to a number of physical side effects as there is a disconnect between what the body is feeling emotionally and what the brain is registering. “Internally this gap can be exhausting,” Glazer says. “When sensations lack clear labels, the brain cannot use its usual shortcuts for regulation.” This means, it remains in an “elevated” state of stress, which can in turn lead to “headaches, gastrointestinal discomfort and disturbed sleep.”

Alexithymia is also linked to “higher rates of depression, anxiety, substance use and suicidal thinking.”

Alexithymia also takes its toll on those close to you.

“For partners, family members, and colleagues, the pattern is equally perplexing,” Glazer says. “A loved one who seldom articulates joy or sorrow can seem indifferent even when deeply committed, and misread social cues can turn minor disagreements into major rifts because tone and facial expression are not decoded efficiently.”

As for in the workplace, alexithymia presents complications there, too. “In workplaces that depend on negotiation or support skills, this blind spot may limit progression and foster frustration among peers,” Glazer adds. “The net effect is a cascade of misunderstanding on both sides that can erode trust over time.”

How can alexithymia be treated?

Alexithymia isn’t treated but those with the trait can be given certain exercises to improve their ability to articulate and feel their own emotions.

Psychoeducation to enlarge the emotional vocabulary is usually the first step. This involves learning how to naming sensations. Glazer adds that mindfulness practices have also been shown to help. “Attending to breath and body in a non-judgmental way strengthens the insula and broadens the window in which a feeling can be recognised before it triggers distress,” he says. “Cognitive behavioural therapy adds structure by linking thoughts, bodily cues and behaviour, with systematic reviews noting gains comparable to medication for mood disorders.”