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Spirit animal: Raccoon gets drunk as a skunk in a booze store – and sleeps off hangover in the toilet

A raccoon has gotten as drunk as a skunk.

On a wild Friday night, the trash panda broke into a liquor store in Virginia – and began helping themselves to the stock.

The following morning, an officer was asked to investigate reports of a break-in… and wasn’t prepared for what happened next.

She was greeted by a soaked aisle that reeked of booze and was littered with smashed bottles.

Spirits were the tipple of choice – this wasn’t a wine racc.

Officer Martin’s inquiries soon took her to the bathroom, where she discovered the raucous raccoon sleeping it off in between a toilet and a bin.

The sozzled suspect was rumbled and described as “very intoxicated” by Hanover County Animal Protection and Shelter.

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A Facebook statement said: “Officer Martin safely secured our masked bandit and transported him back to the shelter to sober up before questioning.

“After a few hours of sleep and zero signs of injury (other than maybe a hangover and poor life choices), he was safely released back to the wild, hopefully having learned that breaking and entering is not the answer.”

The spirit animal has now been barred – and unfortunately, there’s no CCTV footage of him getting completely pawless.

Why? Because he entered the building through the ceiling… and took the camera down with him.

The store has thanked Officer Martin for “providing our visitor with a sober ride home” after he racced up a substantial bill.

LP Staff Writers

Writers at Lord’s Press come from a range of professional backgrounds, including history, diplomacy, heraldry, and public administration. Many publish anonymously or under initials—a practice that reflects the publication’s long-standing emphasis on discretion and editorial objectivity. While they bring expertise in European nobility, protocol, and archival research, their role is not to opine, but to document. Their focus remains on accuracy, historical integrity, and the preservation of events and individuals whose significance might otherwise go unrecorded.

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