Some women and girls may also experience “honour-based abuse”, which is a form of domestic abuse that is sometimes dismissed as a “‘cultural’, ‘traditional’ or ‘religious’ problem,” according to Karma Nirvana.

Disabled women are twice as likely to experience abuse as non-disabled women (per SafeLives) and may find it harder to access support if the perpetrator has a ‘caring’ role in their day-to-day lives.

What does domestic abuse look like?

Domestic abuse can take many forms, which we’ll explore below. However, it’s important to remember that not all types of abuse need to be present for it to be abuse. If you recognise any of these behaviours, please seek support as soon as it is safe to do so.

Types of domestic abuse

Coercive control: When an abuser uses a pattern of behaviour over a period of time to exert power and control over how you live your life.

This can include isolating you from your family and friends, e.g. encouraging you not to go out, pressuring you to move in with them when you’re not ready, etc.; controlling what you do, e.g. what you eat, what you wear, who you spend time with; monitoring your behaviour, and gaslighting you, e.g., making you doubt your perception of the abuse and your reality.

Psychological/emotional abuse: When an abuser uses non-physical behaviours – such as name-calling, gaslighting, making threats, manipulating you, etc. – to make you feel or act in a certain way.

Economic abuse: When an abuser controls or attempts to control your access to money or financial resources. This can include getting you into debt without your knowledge or consent, using or changing your bank passwords, making you ask them for money, without child maintenance payments, and making significant financial decisions without your input or knowledge.

For more information and support about economic abuse, check out survivingeconomicabuse.org.

Physical abuse: When an abuser touches or hurts you without your consent. This can include hitting, punching, kicking, pulling your hair, slapping, choking, spitting, using physical restraints, and spiking your food and drink.

Tech abuse: When an abuser uses technology to control, harass, and/or intimidate you. This can include the use of spyware, using AI/deepfake technology to create fake nude images of you, threatening to share real or fake images without your consent, constantly monitoring and contacting you online, and monitoring your location without your consent.

Sexual abuse: When an abuser threatens or forces you to engage in any sexual activity without your consent. This can include forced oral sex, stealthing (removing a condom without consent), having anal sex without asking for consent, and knowingly infecting you with sexually-transmitted diseases.

Remember, perpetrators tailor their abuse to their victims. If you don’t see your experience included here, that doesn’t mean it’s not abuse. Seek support at your earliest (and safest) opportunity.

What is the law on domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse is a crime in the UK – there is legislation in place to protect you and your loved ones if and when you report it to the police.

The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 provides the following protections for those in England and Wales: