While I won’t be sharing the ins and outs of our relationship, just know that I tried really hard with my mum until I couldn’t try anymore. I’m sure her view of our situation differs from mine, but in a nutshell, our dynamic felt nothing like a mother-daughter duo. Boundaries don’t exist with her. I always felt it was her way or nothing.
In 2020, after suffering a panic attack that I genuinely thought would end me, and spending months with deteriorating mental health, I decided I no longer wanted contact with my mum. I woke up one day and realised it wasn’t a relationship I wanted to maintain any longer, and it wasn’t fair on me. That’s when I realised that no matter how many times I heard “But I’m your mum”, it didn’t mean she could treat me in a way I didn’t deserve, or ignore the boundaries I tried to set.
Something strange began to happen after that moment. On a handful of occasions, while talking with strangers, or even people I knew, I’d mention that I don’t speak to my mum and be met with some version of, “But that’s your mum. Life is short. You’ll regret it.”
I still remember being in a session with my therapist at the time, recounting traumatic experiences involving my mum and explaining just how bad our relationship made me feel. Then my therapist interjected with, “But she made sure dinner was cooked when you got home from school, so she must have been a good mother”, a conversation that still haunts me to this day.
Of course, I’m lucky to have had a hot meal waiting at home, but the Caribbean classics she cooked for dinner, and the occasional takeaway we had as a family, in no way minimise the trauma I was put through.
In his Instagram statement, Brookyln said, “I do not want to reconcile with my family. I’m not being controlled, I’m standing up for myself for the first time in my life.”
He added, “I grew up with overwhelming anxiety. For the first time in my life, since stepping away from my family, that anxiety has disappeared. I wake up every morning grateful for the life I chose, and have found peace and relief.”
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