This article references domestic abuse.

The festive season is meant to be a time of rest and recuperation, but for many, it’s the most dangerous time of year. Domestic abuse, or intimate partner violence (IPV), can escalate, with many charities reporting a rise in calls to their helplines during and after the holidays.

It’s estimated that 1 out of 3 women worldwide will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime. But as Dr Sara Kuburic, also known as the Millennial Therapist, says, “intimate partner violence is never just a statistic.” She tells Glamour, “It lives in the stories my clients share and the pain they carry.”

In partnership with YSL Beauty’s global initiative Abuse Is Not Love, Dr Kuburic has authored a report in which she identifies five internal warning signs of abuse: confusion, minimisation, disconnection, emotional unease, and embodied distress. Here, she speaks to Glamour about her work with survivors, the threat of digital abuse, and how we can all do our bit to create a safer world for women and girls.

Glamour: What drew you to working with YSL on the Abuse Is Not Love campaign?

Dr Sara Kuburic: I’m often struck by how little space this global issue receives in mainstream conversations. So, when I found a brand willing to take a clear and compassionate stand, and to speak up for millions of women, I knew I wanted to be part of that work. “Abuse Is Not Love” isn’t just a campaign slogan – it’s a statement that has the potential to save lives and shift how we collectively understand love and safety.

The theme for this year’s 16DaysOfAction is online safety. In your work and research, how have you seen perpetrators use digital and tech tools to abuse their partners?

I’ve seen how digital spaces can become extensions of control. Perpetrators often use technology not for connection, but for surveillance, intimidation, and emotional manipulation. It can start subtly, like needing constant updates, monitoring someone’s “last seen,” or questioning why a message wasn’t answered quickly enough. Over time, it can escalate into checking phones, demanding passwords, tracking locations, or using social media to isolate a partner from friends and support networks.

What makes digital abuse particularly insidious is how easily it can be disguised as concern or curiosity. Many survivors tell me they didn’t recognise it as abuse at first. They thought it was love, or care, or simply part of being “transparent” in a relationship. But when technology becomes a tool that shrinks your freedom, shapes your behaviour, or makes you feel watched in your own life, it becomes a form of violence.

Online safety is not just about protecting our devices. It’s about protecting our autonomy, our privacy, and our sense of self.

Do you think there’s a lack of empathy for women who are, or may be, experiencing domestic abuse? What can we do, both on a societal and individual level, to better empathise with women in abusive relationships?

It’s a complex question. As a society, we’ve distanced ourselves from the experience by treating it as something that exists “out there,” rather than acknowledging that it happens in our homes and communities. It’s uncomfortable to imagine a reality where people we know, and love could be exposed to that much pain. Sometimes, people cope with this discomfort by creating distance from survivors – by explaining their experience away as weakness, poor judgment, or an isolated event. But the truth is, abuse is a societal issue. 1 in 3 women will experience abuse by their partner over their lifetime. This is why it’s our shared responsibility to educate, protect, and foster environments where accountability, safety, and empathy are the norm.