The meme of the Christmas Day fallout is a tale as old as time. You’ve probably experienced it yourself. You’re settling down to Christmas dinner, or enjoying drinks around the TV after opening presents, and that one relative who shares those sketchy, far-right infographics on social media pipes up with a truly unhinged comment that shocks everyone into silence — shortly before arguments ensue.

When everyone has had a Bucks Fizz (or one, or two, or three…), things can escalate quickly, leading to tears, upset, and fallouts that can continue for days, months, or even years after.

As A Christmas Carol has taught us, Christmas is meant to be a time of togetherness, generosity and kindness — ‘goodwill to all men!’ and all that — but with such a tense year that’s seen shootings, cruel politics, genocide and a rolling back of rights, we’re feeling more divided than ever before. And while the onus is really on your relative not to be hateful, there are some steps you can take to de-escalate the situation, engage in productive conversation, and encourage some compassion for those who are seeking refuge and protection this winter and beyond.

“Start by focusing on the human story rather than the politics,” suggests Flora Alexander, the International Refugee Committee‘s UK Executive Director. “Remind family members that refugees are women, men and children with dreams, hopes and ambitions — they’re teachers, doctors, parents, and students who’ve been forced to flee persecution and life-threatening situations. They don’t make these dangerous journeys because they want to; they do so because they have no other choice.

“When we strip away the rhetoric and focus on individual human experiences, it becomes easier to see beyond often damaging and inaccurate stereotypes. It can help to ask questions that encourage perspective: “What would you do if our country became unsafe? Where would you go and why?”. This can help to highlight some of the main reasons people seek asylum in the UK, such as family ties, speaking English and professional connections,” she says. “It’s also worth highlighting that the asylum application process is incredibly rigorous and can take years to complete.”

Below are some more talking points about refugees and how you can respond to family members who bring them up negatively around the table this Christmas.

If they say: “We can’t just let everyone in”

This is a common talking point from the far-right. While the number of people crossing to the UK on small boats is increasing, the fact is that not everyone who wants to claim asylum here is, in fact, ‘allowed in’.

The UK has a stringent migration policy — one that’s become even stricter this year after the Labour government enacted the largest overhaul of the system in 50 years. Those tight regulations have had a knock-on effect on those applying for asylum. According to the Refugee Committee, there has been a 34% decrease in granted protections in 2025 versus the previous year, with a total of 44,370 people given asylum status with their initial decisions, down from 67,533 in 2024.

So, we’re not ‘just letting everyone in’ in the UK at all. “In reality, less than 2% of the world’s refugees come to the UK, and they make up less than 1% of the UK population,” shares Flora.

“It’s also often overlooked that 67% of refugees stay in the first country they reach, and nearly three quarters of all refugees live in low and middle-income countries; Iran, Turkiye and Colombia host the most overall, while Lebanon and Jordan have the highest proportion relative to their population,” she says.

If they say: “Who pays for all of this? Shouldn’t we take care of our own?”

The fact is that people seeking asylum receive very little in support from the UK government. They are banned from working and are provided with just £7 per day from the Government — barely enough for a matcha latte in most major cities — to cover the costs of their basic necessities, according to the Refugee Council. They’re not allowed to work, so there’s no chance of boosting their sense of self-worth, confidence and personal finances (as well as paying into the tax system) by contributing towards the local business community.