You always think you know exactly what to wear to a rehearsal dinner as a guest, but once the invite arrives, why does it suddenly feel like an overwhelming process?
Traditionally, the rehearsal dinner is when the betrothed couple’s closest friends and family gather for pre-ceremony festivities the night before the wedding. Unlike the wedding ceremony and reception, which often carry a dress code – black-tie, cocktail, garden party, etc. – the rehearsal dinner is less regimented. Sometimes it’s not even a dinner! You know it’s a slightly less formal event than the big day, but still, the guidelines on how to dress are often blurry at best.
Plus, there’s an unspoken stressor here, too. “You’re probably meeting some of the guests for the first time,” says bridal stylist and creative brand consultant Anny Choi. In other words, you want to look and feel your best without being so disruptive that it pulls focus from the happy couple. However, Choi says, it’s also a chance for wedding guests to show a little personality. “I actually think that it’s a good opportunity to make a statement, especially if the wedding itself calls for a more restrictive dress code.”
The good news? These pre-wedding events usually aren’t as highly photographed as the actual wedding itself, so that should take some of the pressure off. Plus, if you’re invited to the rehearsal dinner, odds are high you’re in the wedding party and have an assigned ensemble (read “pastel bridesmaid dress”) for the big day. In other words, this could be your best chance to have fun with your look.
“Often, you’re seeing your old school or uni friends, or people you might not see all the time,” Choi says. “So why not use that as an excuse to dress up?”
Okay, so you’re ready to have fun with your look. Now what? From there, you consider the season, venue, location, and even the vibe of the bride(s) and/or groom(s). But in general, embrace the grey area. Below, Choi shares more of her tips for choosing what to wear to a rehearsal dinner.
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What should I keep in mind when planning a rehearsal dinner outfit as a guest?
If you’re not sure what to wear to a rehearsal dinner, here are some things to consider:
- Dress codes, if any
- Venue
- Terrain
- Season
- Location
- Tastes of the couple
What if there’s a wedding theme?
If there is a dress code or suggested theme for any pre-wedding events, it is good etiquette to follow the requests of the couple.
“A lot of couples are throwing very specific themed pre-wedding events,” says Choi. “Maybe it’s an all-white party. I’m working with a couple where they are encouraging guests to wear shades of sunset to their welcome event.”
Choi encourages everyone to see this as an opportunity to be creative – sometimes creativity thrives within parameters.
How different should a rehearsal dinner outfit be from the wedding day look?
In general, pre-wedding events are less dressy than the wedding, unless noted otherwise in the invitation. So yes, you can leave the tuxedo in the hotel room, but that doesn’t mean you should show up in a T-shirt and shorts or other overly casual attire. Rehearsal dinner dress code is still more formal than your average Tuesday.
“You’re attending two very different events,” Choi says. “I advise doing something different from what you might be wearing to the ceremony so that you get the variation.” Some examples? Go with a shorter hemline for the pre-wedding event by wearing a mini cocktail dress, or extend the silhouette with a long sleeve. If your reception dress is more formal or muted in colour, a relaxed sundress or a bright pop of colour the night before might be appropriate.
When in doubt, go for ’90s silhouettes.
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