Women are feeling more isolated than ever before, and hetronormative relationships aren’t helping. It’s become one of the most debated topics online. As gender roles evolve, so do our romantic dynamics, and companionship and marriage are no longer matters of survival for most women, but choices rooted in desire and compatibility. Meanwhile, men appear freer than ever to explore themselves outside of traditional expectations.

Despite this supposed modern freedom, many women report increasing difficulty in forming genuine, lasting connections with men. It’s undeniable that the way women move through the world today would have been unimaginable even 50 years ago. While many still aspire to marriage and family, our personal and professional opportunities have expanded.

Women under 30 are beating their male peers to 100K salaries; women are leading the charge in solo home ownership; higher education continues to be dominated by women; and alongside these achievements, many of us are prioritising emotional wellness through therapy, self-reflection and firm boundaries.

But as women become more self-aware, intentional and emotionally literate, a complexity has emerged: are we feeling isolated as our boundaries reduce the potential dating pool? The emotional gap between men and women appears to be widening, and the consequences are revealing themselves in our romantic lives.

Patriarchal structures have long positioned men as the “dominant social group,” Sarah Fielding notes in How Do Gender Roles Affect Your Relationships? But in a reality where women are increasingly self-sufficient and emotionally attuned, the imbalance within heterosexual dating has become more visible. If women no longer shoulder the responsibility of maintaining relationships alone, what happens to relationships themselves?

We see this strain reflected in the rise of dating archetypes, from Trad Wives and High-Value Men to Strict Women and Golden Retriever Boyfriends. These labels capture how unsettled modern dating feels. The old scripts no longer apply, yet new ones offer little guidance. And for many women, the combination of emotional clarity and firm boundaries has revealed a truth they can no longer ignore: being alone is often safer and more fulfilling than dating someone unwilling — or unable — to meet them halfway.

To understand how this plays out in real time, Glamour speaks to several women in their 20s and 30s about dating today. For many, the emotional gap between themselves and the men they meet has become impossible to ignore. For some, this mismatch has made dating feel less like romance and more like emotional regression.

“Many men are emotionally immature”

Anna-Maria, 24, from London, says dating often requires her to “dim down” her self-awareness because many men feel threatened or overwhelmed by it. “Many men are shallow, incurious, emotionally immature and very boring,” she says.

This divide isn’t merely a personality clash, but structural. Women are far more likely to seek therapy, interrogate their pasts and unlearn harmful patterns. Men often rely on presence rather than emotional participation.

“Some men feign emotional closeness”

Liz, 29 from Belgium, observes that many men “feign emotional closeness” early on, only for it to vanish once real vulnerability enters the picture. For many women, healing has unintentionally made dating harder, not because their standards have become unrealistic, but because misalignment has become glaringly obvious.

“I refuse to be someone’s therapist”

Paula, 27, from London, who dates women, says therapy has made her unwilling to “be someone’s therapist or punching bag,” a role she previously slipped into with emotionally underdeveloped partners. She notes that queer relationships have their own challenges – pride, fear, aesthetics – but emotional engagement is often non-negotiable in ways it isn’t in heterosexual dating.