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Tesco’s birthday cake sandwich caught us off guard – here’s 5 honest reviews

We had a hard time recruiting willing participants, if we’re being fully transparent, though those whom we were able to coerce into taste testing had the following thoughts on the Tesco birthday cake sandwich:

Ben, Senior Creative Designer

Rating: 7/10

“I actually enjoyed it! It’s just like a jam sandwich but with cream cheese instead of peanut butter. I have a sweet tooth, but didn’t think it was overwhelmingly sweet like some American Birthday cake-flavoured things can be. Not sure if I would get it again as let’s be honest, there’s no nutritional value here…”

Robyn, Social Media Manager

Rating: 6/10

“It’s like birthday cake, but without the best bit: the cake.”

Image may contain Bread Food and Brunch
Image may contain Food Hot Dog and QR Code

Lian, Senior Audience Development Manager

Rating: 4/10

“This sandwich is as confusing as it looks. You’re met with an undeniably sour, off-putting odour when you go in for the first bite. Make it past that point, though, and I’m not convinced it gets any better. Philadelphia mixed with jam results in a deeply unappealing, bitter, tangy flavour. Final thoughts are that it looks like it’s off, smells like it is and doesn’t taste much better either. Why they didn’t swap the cream cheese for some regular cream is beyond me.”

Katie, Senior SEO Manager

Rating: 🤢/10

“That sandwich was absolutely not for me. Don’t get me wrong, as an American, I love a PB&J, but switching out the peanut butter for this tangy cream cheese and sprinkle combo sent shivers down my spine (not the good kind).”

Nikoo, Commerce Photo Editor

Rating: 3/10

“It smells sour and almost like it’s gone off…When it comes to taste, it’s exactly what it says on the tin: sweet Philadelphia mixed with jam on bread.”

All in all, it’s safe to say that this ‘sandwich’ tasted like nothing we’ve ever come across before, for better or for worse. Any joy that could be taken from the sprinkles is lost to the cream cheese and jam filling, which almost curdle into one another.

We will not be repurchasing.

LP Staff Writers

Writers at Lord’s Press come from a range of professional backgrounds, including history, diplomacy, heraldry, and public administration. Many publish anonymously or under initials—a practice that reflects the publication’s long-standing emphasis on discretion and editorial objectivity. While they bring expertise in European nobility, protocol, and archival research, their role is not to opine, but to document. Their focus remains on accuracy, historical integrity, and the preservation of events and individuals whose significance might otherwise go unrecorded.

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