No, you shouldn’t just know how to choose a sex toy. In fact, some sex educators, wellness writers and the like would insist there’s a science to it. A science worth following, considering there’s now a vibrator for every need, nook, and kind of pleasure to opt between.

Really, Goldilocks had it easy with her three chairs, three beds, and three bowls of porridge. Because we struggle to pick a main at a restaurant without seeing the menu first, and now we’re faced with endless aisles (both physical and virtual) of buzzing, pulsing options, including bullet vibrators, clit suckers and insertable G-spot vibrators.

A quick reminder that masturbation (and therefore a search for the right tool) is worth prioritising. That’s because it comes with a host of benefits — think an improved mood, reduced stress, and even better sleep.

But, to save you from choice paralysis, we’ve roped in the pros to help you whittle it all down. Cue our step-by-step guide to finding a toy that feels ‘just right’, whether you’re shopping for solo play, couple’s fun, or a bit of both.

What are the different types of sex toys?

If you don’t know your clit vibrator from a suction stimulator, we’ve covered the basics below:

How to choose a sex toy that’s right for you:

Yes, pre-shop preparation is essential. So, here are the steps recommended by leading sex educators, whether you plan on flying solo or playing together:

1. Know your purpose

Is this about levelling up your solo pleasure, exploring with a partner, spicing things up in the bedroom, or simply getting to know your body a little better? Defining your ‘why’ will help you cut through the endless scroll of options.

2. Set your pleasure goals

Where do you actually like to be touched? Oral, fingertip teasing, deep penetration, nipple play — everyone’s blueprint is different. If you’re a fan of light teasing, sex educator at Sh!, Renée Denyer recommends a soft, flexible toy, such as the ILY Pebble. But if firm pressure or deep penetration tends to close the O gap for you, look for something with more power, like the Doxy Wand.

3. Quality over chaos

Your genitals deserve the good stuff — think body-safe silicone that won’t irritate and will actually last. That said, your first sex toy doesn’t have to cost the earth. Think of it as a test drive before you invest in a long-term love affair.

4. Multitask like a pro

Not sure what you’re into? Opt for a sex toy that multitasks. Yes, it’s an investment, but you’re more likely to love at least one of its settings, and it keeps things interesting for longer. The Tennis Pro allows you to stimulate the clitoral glans, massage the vulva, tease the entrance to the vagina, and get to the elusive G-spot via penetration.

5. Size matters

As Denyer wisely puts it: “Your first toy should not feel like a dare.” Consider width in terms of fingers— one finger, two fingers, and so on — and start where it feels good. Length? Far less important, because you can control the depth.

6. Accessorise like you mean it

Don’t skip the extras. Water-based lube and a good sex toy cleaner are the unsung heroes of great solo and partnered sex. But lube isn’t just for penetrative play — it can seriously elevate self-pleasure too. “A good water-based lubricant works with all toy materials, while silicone lube lasts longer for anal or non-silicone toys,” says Lovehoney‘s sex and relationships expert, Annabelle Knight.